Road to Separation...

There are no words left to describe

All the hurt I feel inside...

The pain of your loss

Lingers in all that I do.

I'm wishing,

Praying,

I could be with you !

Why'd you have to go

And fall for her ?

Why'd you have to go

And leave me alone ?

Why'd you have to be on that road 

That night ?

Why'd you have to walk

Towards that pearly white light ?

There are no words left,

None that could ever describe

The pain of the hole that was left inside....

Day after day

I missed you so much...

Night after night

I could almost feel your touch...

In such a short time

You broke my heart twice;

And you left me here

Without so much as a goodbye !

Only a dream...

Your touch felt like heaven to me.

Your arms felt as real as reality.

More real than life has ever seemed.

You are all and everything I need.

You brought me to the highest ecstasy,

We're all alone, just you and me.

Your presents, far from an illusion.

True love, like a gentle conclusion.

We stayed in this embrace 'til past noon,

Why did this dream have to end so soon?

Feelings felt miraculously pure,

Reality felt so close to shore.

Forever was in your eyes,

Beautiful simplicity, no surprise.

Anything to stay here,

The only way to feel you near.

Please don't fade away,

I need you more and more each day.

I love you more than the highest mountain on earth,

I knew I belonged to you from the day of my birth.

This dream, only coming from my inner-mind,

But look at all I could find.

It's time to wake-up and face the morning breeze,

These tears I will have to seize.

I keep telling myself sadly, over and over again..

"It was only a dream"

But how can I believe it, when you were just standing before me?

Till we meet again...

Somebody came into my life unexpectedly.

I didn't know who that somebody is or who that may be;

During those days I was full of sorrow

Thinking about tomorrow !

Will I let that somebody completely cross the line 

And accept that it was really mine ?

Or will I just leave that somebody 

Then live my life usually ?

Suddenly, I had a dream..

At first I didn't know what does it mean,

But I continuously pray at night

Inside my room lit with a dim light..!!

Finally, I found the answer,

I am going to love this somebody, I swear

Call me a fool,

But I am willing now to share my body and soul..!

I called this somebody 'Meow';

I will shower all my care and love.

Asked my angel to be with me day and night;

Linger for another day and wait for the sun to light.

Yet something had happened without warning,

And left me with almost nothing.

My angel came unexpectedly,

Then went away unpredictably...!

It was so depressing,

I felt like dying;

But I was wrong,

Instead it made me strong..!!

Although my angel did go away,

But I know my angel will be with me everyday

To take all the sorrow,

And will help me face a successful tomorrow..!

My angel will still be here ,

My angel will ease my fear,

There will come a day 

That my angel will come again my way...

I know my angel won't be lonely

For my angel will always be alive in my memory.

Existence of death...

Existence is what I am here,

Solitude is what I fear,

All alone nothing but my own,

Without you I can't find home.

Invincible, I wish I would be..

The love I long for, why not me ?

This pain keeps me in sorrow

Hope there is a way tomorrow..!!

With him I see you face to face,

Fragile I am as my love comes in blaze..

Now I know you are million miles away;

Then forgetting is what I pray...

I keep on running to find a way

I was lost when I begged you to stay

You left me and still I am asking you why ?

Please stay! Please stay! Thats my cry...

I don't quite what now to say...

I am in misery! Please take it away.

How I feel you can never understand...

This pain made me lame, I can't stand.

Now the end is what I so long for

Dreadful I am; is this making me sore ?

Tears keep on falling and its like a threat

Made my existence feel like worse than death...

My horrible dream...

My phone buzzed all night, 

But I tried to ignore it.

Early the next morning 

It finally woke me.a

Still half asleep I picked it up....

My heart got excited, 

The text was from you.

But it soon calms down as I read on...

You said that you were sorry ,

And that you hope we can be friends.

But you are starting to think 

Our relationship needs to end.

I shut the phone and take it all in.

I guess I never thought that you be gone,

But now that you are,

I don’t think I can be strong..!!

And then I hear my mom call my name,

She sounds so very far away.

I wake up and realize it was just a dream.... 

And then I hear it…that dreadful sound,

The sound of my phone receiving a text;

I pick it up opening it slowly, 

Praying that my dream doesn’t come true

And then my world crashes down...

Because you said those awful words;

The ones that took me away from you...

Love gone...

We started as friends.

Never did we imagine,

Never did we realize

We’ll end up lovers.

First few months were sweet.

Every moment worth to keep.

First kiss was ecstatic,

First touch was magnetic.

Never been dull when were together,

We make each day to last forever.

Hearts unite, love abounds

It felt good being in love.

Now, I see a different you.

Silent words, cold touch,

Vague look, empty smile,

All you give makes me blue.

All I do is cry..!!

I fail no matter how I try.

My walls silently listen

As if it feels my painful heart.

I know no mistake I did,

I have just loved and cared much...

If I could just be numb

So as not be hurt.

I wish to end this life,

Broken heart and broken soul...

Is the love gone?

Or you have just found somebody new?

Tell me honestly,

Say goodbye if you must...

Though today it hurts much

Tomorrow, I deserve to laugh.

All I thought...

Knowing someone like you

On the day that I was feeling blue,

Was an unforgettable moment

That I always thought you were heaven-sent.

Days went by

You painted my face with a sweet smile; 

Then later on, we’ve turned out to be lovers

That I thought we were like charming blooming flowers.

I’ve been to places that I’ve never been before,

I’ve been there with you, and I thought I couldn’t ask for more.

All the time we’ve been together

I thought it was like an adventure...

I remember the day when it was sunny,

We were still happy even if we have no money

‘Cause I’ve believed that having you, was like having a treasure;

And I thought loving you was my ever pleasure.

I always thought you were an angel in disguise,

I saw caring in your eyes,

You were an out of the ordinary being 

I thought you were the one I was always searching...

Your presence made my world go round,

Your absence always made me frown.

You took away all my fears

That was why I thought, you would also wipe away my tears...

I liked the way you talk,

I even appreciated the way you walk.

But you were eaten by your pride

And I thought I could just carry on inside...

I’ve been good,

But you’ve been rude

I was there

I thought you would care.

You’ve got tenderness in every touch,

I thought you really missed me so much,

I gave you my loyalty,

And so I thought you were also dedicated to me...

I always thought you were the one;

I thought you would be there with a helping hand;

And I thought the best love story had begun

But what hurts most, I thought you were my girl…

Remembrance...

Where we are

Is where we've always been.

And I will go with you

Crossing the dunes to Black Point

Counting the life rings of broken branches...

It was happiness, left unspoken

That set it all here

Praying at the failing of the altar

Pouring it out for credence dear...

A feeling from the speaking moon

Hand and hand it all unfurled;

Should've stayed on route

Driving the burden down the line,

from impending hate...

You and I took it for life !

Summer sweat smelled through citronella

When the mosquitoes came out

Biting and swelling me more and more,

'Til it became harder and harder to breathe...

You sang...

" Sweet love take me away

King of the tides left me crumbling

While I'm left with nothing to say. "

At your deliverance...

The panorama closing in

Playing time against it all.

In narrow view of where it all began,

With a rock under the bridge of the beach;

Chalked with our names

Forever to blame for our demise,

Mumbling of angel's words,

The gleam shine through the fray of severance...

" Crying at your door

Knocking in agony, ignored

Each gasp to let me in

As tears continued to pour... "

Only love did me this way,

Sweet moment of stumbling

On my final stay of remembrance... !!!

Lost my Love...

Love……a word that means so much;

A feeling that defies all rational description.

Given to us by God Almighty in a single touch;

And expressed by us through confusing emotion.

It is this love that brought us together

That we into a single family would unite

And we promised that it would be for ever

Because our love was intense and not finite.

Years went by and our family grew

Blessed immensely with strength and beauty

Our children went from a couple to twice a few.

Our love for them is a pleasure rather than a duty.

But wicked turns this life on us would play

Our future placed in the vicious hands of poverty.

And our marriage seemed to wallow and decay

Long will this last and we face evil uncertainty.

Tried we did to make things better but to no avail

Deeper down we sank and then ill we got

The task was so great that we could not prevail

The battle tough, loving each other was what we forgot.

Desperate, you sought an escape and found it in a game

Frail I became as I was consumed by self doubt.

I felt I had failed you all and that I was the one to blame.

You found refuge amongst others when I was not about.

Uncontrollably I would rage and curse and swear

Fear and suspicion would eventually tear us apart

My love for you being taunted beyond that which I could bear.

Though I never struck you, my words broke your heart. 

I would become obsessive and try as I might

To find out what was going on I began to pry

But push you away I did and you locked up tight.

Until eventually to the arms of another you would fly.

Of this I would learn and my heart would break

For my forever would now suddenly just arrive

And all my trust in you it would take

It is in shock and disbelief that I was to survive.

From that hurt and despair, today I am on the mend.

And stronger I have become as I have moved ahead

So sadly it is our relationship that has come to an end.

And it is in history our story will one day be read.

I forgive you and I have set you free

And I wish that for you eternal happiness you receive

My wish is that one day you will pardon me

Because it is still in love forever that I believe.

The Loss of a Beloved...

My mother called me into her opaque room, I didn’t know what to expect,

It was a heartbroken conversation that I would forever keep in mind, 

I listened to her mournful words with all respect,

Knowing that it was not my fault this time.

Her words will everlastingly haunt me,

Telling me that my beloved father is lifeless,

Hearing this news only six days before my birthday party,

I was without a doubt, speechless.

My only longing was to spend more time with him,

Who would’ve known that he would vanish ?

I wake up with nothing but memories that are dim,

Feeling like a nine year old who was banished,

Days were filled with nothing but sorrow,

Remembering crying myself to sleep,

Especially hoping to make it through tomorrow,

But this hope is something that I will always keep.

Six years later still wondering what I could’ve changed,

Maybe writing him more could’ve been a choice,

Allah will have an enormous punishment for that gang,

I wish I could just hear my father’s voice.

Time to time I read his letters,

Accepting the fact that he’s watching over me,

Believing this helps me feel much better, 

But I still need him as you can see.

Days go by and all I have is memories,

I should’ve used my time wisely,

Sick of missing you, can’t seem to find the remedies,

Sorry for my foolish ways, please don’t despise me.

My only thought is to have you here,

This is my last wish that I hope and pray,

You will forever be loved, sometimes expressed with tears,

Since you have disappeared, I have gone astray.

Tired of Waiting...

Every morning I wait to see

If you would pass me by.

I know that you don't think of it

I don't have to ask you why...

I pray for the slightest moment

When you and I could talk,

We could laugh at how our day is going

And maybe we could take a walk.

But knowing you, you have no time

I cannot blame you at all.

But you can't blame me for wanting you

As I walk alone in the hall...

If I am able to make time for us

Then shouldn't you be able too ?

It seems that everything that's done...

I do it all for you !

You want us both to take it slow,

But how slow do you really mean?

Because it seems like we're going nowhere

It's like the end with no in-between...

It hurts me so, to see you there,

It hurts to know how you feel,

Because our emotions are so the same

But I wonder if it's really real...

To know that you feel that for me

But you have no time for it,

You know that I’m on the verge of doubt

It's hard not to ignore it...

I do not want to hurt you again,

I know you don't want to try.

But it seems that there's no time for me

And that makes me want to cry...

You claim to not have a life

But I have none just as well,

I'm trying to make something out of this

In case you couldn't tell....

The signs are pointing strongly around

My feelings remain the same;

I'm trying hard to make this work,

But to you, I do not give the blame...

I never mean to rush you,

But it seems that time is fading.

I can only stay so long for you,

But I’m just so tired of waiting...

Back in Time...

I see the way you hold him

The same way you held me,

You two seem so inseparable

Just like we used to be...

I can see it in your eyes

He's always on your mind.

I try to be happy for you,

But I can't understand 

How easily you put our love behind...

I would give anything,

My life and all

To simply go back 

To that telephone call...

To take back those words

And make everything okay,

To swallow my pride

And ask you to stay...

To get back the love

That is supposed to be mine,

To take back the pain

So everything could be fine...

To feel your sweet kiss

And know you belong to me,

To hear you whisper in my ear

About the way things will be...

To fall asleep listening

To the beat of your heart,

To hear you promise me

We'll never be apart...

Time to go back to reality

This dream of mine will never come true.

You've already moved on

And found somebody new...

But even though your feelings

For me were never real,

That doesn't change the way

I will always feel...

The love I have for you

Is very strong

Doesn't matter if it's right

Or if it's wrong...

A special place in my heart

You will always hold,

No matter how many years go by

My love for you will never get old...

Dusty Pages...

One look into those eyes 

I'd kiss the ground beneath you. 

Orion watched a perfect love 

and a kiss beneath the moon. 

I thought in you I'd find myself 

I found more than I could've dreamed. 

A love to beat all other loves 

...or only how it seemed. 

Waking to my tears 

Sleeping with my dreams 

You taught me how to love 

You showed me what it means. 

One day a grave will hold me 

Touched only by you 

Breathing my last, holding my heart 

Praying my love will die too. 

I was beauty, I was sunshine. 

I was Autumn, I was me. 

I was everything you wanted 

You were everything I need. 

Saying goodbye to our flowers 

Yearning still to say hello 

Slowly counting away the hours 

Until the day I let you go.

Corrupted Angel...

Once there was an angel

Full of love, hope, and grace.

Many had adored this creature

And recognized her by her beautiful face!

Her eyes were not what they seemed

For they looked a different color each day.

But something happened to this loveable angel

That made her beauty fade away...

Her skin turned deadly pale,

And her golden hair turned white;

Her eyes looked empty and dull,

When they used to be full and bright...

Darkness filled the skies,

And this poor angel's heart.

Nobody knows exactly why 

This adorable creature fell apart...

But rumor has it that she met another angel

Who promised to love her forever, 

Until one day that angel left her,

For another pair of feathers....

And so in return this angel was corrupted,

And stopped living altogether...

Just because of one angel’s promise,

A promise of being loved forever....

Where Do I Go ?

I sometimes brood and sit by myself

Wondering if you ever felt the way I felt

Where do I go when there's no help?

Suicidal thoughts tell me to go left

But I know taking me away

Wont help cause close to you I want to stay.

I know perfection is not for anyone to be

But for some reason you are the one on who I see;

Even though that isn't right.

My thoughts are high as a plane

While we talk all night...

But there is always that one same fight

As if we were on different flight

My life was lost until you came to my side

And showed me hope. 

It was there so for you I stayed alive

I look at you and see your love with no sense,

But for some reason 

You chose our journey to end.

I chose seconds over minutes

I look at you, but in a different scene; 

I don't understand the words you speak

Do you know what I mean?

I thought we were meant to be a team

But I guess there wont be such... 

All I need you to know

Is that I LOVE you 

LOVE you so so much....

Heart-breaker...

Its been a long time

Since I've written you a rhyme,

Its been a while

Since I've seen you smile.

Its been days

Since I've seen your enlightened face,

Its been weeks

Since I've heard you speak.

Its been forever since it was only us who walked,

Its been forever since we've had a heart to heart talk.

Its already becoming a trend,

We're only spending time with friends.

I don't want to make it a fuss,

But we never have time for us.

I always dream of my arm around your waist,

And the sweet delicious taste

Of your warm and tender kiss,

It is all of these that I miss.

I don't know how you feel,

And if what you say is real.

Your emotions nowadays never show,

And now I will never know.

I don't know who you even are,

We're so disconnected and you seem so far.

Its me this feeling is haunting,

I don't even know if its me your wanting.

Maybe I shouldn't complain,

You too might feel the same pain,

But I guess thats it, I'm all worn out,

I have forgotten love, and what its all about.

You have wiped the smile of my face,

You have made me look so blue,

Its only occurred to me now,

That its over and its through.

You were more than just a fling,

It was only yesterday when I almost heard church bells ring.

You have given me the world

Well thats what I thought,

I didn't expect you to end up as 

Something you were not.

With you I could have done anything if I tried,

You weren't worth all the tears that I have cried.

I thought you were different 

I thought you would stay,

But you took advantage 

You threw my heart away.

We promised each other our trust

And that we would both play fair,

We promised each other our honesty 

And that we would both be there.

I found out that you were a girl of many faces,

This was just another disguise,

I found out later you were playing me 

And you were full of lies.

So why am I writing you this poem? 

Here, I'll give you a clue!

I cant stand it, 

I don't know what to do.

I have fallen for the wrong girl,

I have fallen for a faker,

I have done the stupidest thing,

I have fallen for a heart-breaker.

Everything To Me...

You left me here.

Without anything to hold on to

Nothing but sad memories

And a song that I can't stand to listen to

Thanks for the times that meant

Everything to me

But nothing to you.

I was just a game, a test run.

Just to see how things would go

I guess you didn't like it

Because you pulled over

And left me here alone

You walked away from this 

Like it never happened

But in reality you held my hand

You kissed my lips

You held me close

And you pushed away the memories

That meant the most

We still talk like we use to,

Laugh when nothing's funny

And look at each other

Like we're still inlove

Someone came between us

And that person got in the way

Of you being my everything

So I'm sorry I wasn't good for you

But I'm here for you, no matter what

Because you were everything to me

When I was nothing to you

And I'm still holding on to the memories

Like we both use to.

Can't Move on...

Looking back only makes me mad;

I can see what I loved,

I remember how it was.

I hate my feelings all the time,

And I can't run away from my depressing rhymes.

Jealous of the ones you actually love,

You make them seem blessed,

You treat them as if they are divine.

Never giving me my time,

And allow me to shine.

I must be worth nothing to you,

‘‘Cause with every word you say

You constantly turn me away.

No longer are you words pure,

And my direction with you is unclear

My heart is fragile,

My words are heavyhearted,

My thoughts are miserable,

Every step is suffering,

And every part tells me the loving is foregone.

Everything we had is gone.

I should move on,

But my heart keeps pushing me along.

I can only see what your putting in front of me,

And your clogging my thoughts

With what we used to be.

The long past of when we were perfect,

And I wasn't so down

In pain I wasn't about to drown.

Times are different now;

I must leave you behind,

The memories I had I'll disavow 

Throwing you out of my mind.

I'm letting those moments rot in time,

I'm showing you I'm not blind,

That my life I can find

Without us entwined.

But will I ever rewind

The lies in my heart

That you loved me from the start.

The times you denied impart

While tearing us apart.

Will I be able to part?

Is my heart ready to depart?

The Ocean...

Walking; Talking; Chatting; Clicking;
Crashing against the gray stone rocks -
So fierce intense each step by step.
The ocean in the flicker of an eye.
Leading from high down to the beach,
So narrow steep naive and dark,
And yet so pure like the fine sands,
which our feet, together, have still to touch.
Hold closer, closer, capture it all - 
Seashell treasures keep memories;
Waves of the night lost in the sea.
Deep true endless romances of the waters, 
Are cherished lovingly on shore.
Graceful perfection, sea breeze air 
Silent kisses, stars keep smiles.
Beneath the play shelter,
Hidden from all, nerves swim, adrenalin
But wait... the innocence of the moment
gone. Back to your corner we go,
So gentle intense like the deep mystery.
Hold close, closer, remember all,
Keep your mind clear and heart open
'cause each drop that fills that ocean is a tear I've cried 
reaching out for you...