Lost my Love...

Love……a word that means so much;

A feeling that defies all rational description.

Given to us by God Almighty in a single touch;

And expressed by us through confusing emotion.

It is this love that brought us together

That we into a single family would unite

And we promised that it would be for ever

Because our love was intense and not finite.

Years went by and our family grew

Blessed immensely with strength and beauty

Our children went from a couple to twice a few.

Our love for them is a pleasure rather than a duty.

But wicked turns this life on us would play

Our future placed in the vicious hands of poverty.

And our marriage seemed to wallow and decay

Long will this last and we face evil uncertainty.

Tried we did to make things better but to no avail

Deeper down we sank and then ill we got

The task was so great that we could not prevail

The battle tough, loving each other was what we forgot.

Desperate, you sought an escape and found it in a game

Frail I became as I was consumed by self doubt.

I felt I had failed you all and that I was the one to blame.

You found refuge amongst others when I was not about.

Uncontrollably I would rage and curse and swear

Fear and suspicion would eventually tear us apart

My love for you being taunted beyond that which I could bear.

Though I never struck you, my words broke your heart. 

I would become obsessive and try as I might

To find out what was going on I began to pry

But push you away I did and you locked up tight.

Until eventually to the arms of another you would fly.

Of this I would learn and my heart would break

For my forever would now suddenly just arrive

And all my trust in you it would take

It is in shock and disbelief that I was to survive.

From that hurt and despair, today I am on the mend.

And stronger I have become as I have moved ahead

So sadly it is our relationship that has come to an end.

And it is in history our story will one day be read.

I forgive you and I have set you free

And I wish that for you eternal happiness you receive

My wish is that one day you will pardon me

Because it is still in love forever that I believe.

The Loss of a Beloved...

My mother called me into her opaque room, I didn’t know what to expect,

It was a heartbroken conversation that I would forever keep in mind, 

I listened to her mournful words with all respect,

Knowing that it was not my fault this time.

Her words will everlastingly haunt me,

Telling me that my beloved father is lifeless,

Hearing this news only six days before my birthday party,

I was without a doubt, speechless.

My only longing was to spend more time with him,

Who would’ve known that he would vanish ?

I wake up with nothing but memories that are dim,

Feeling like a nine year old who was banished,

Days were filled with nothing but sorrow,

Remembering crying myself to sleep,

Especially hoping to make it through tomorrow,

But this hope is something that I will always keep.

Six years later still wondering what I could’ve changed,

Maybe writing him more could’ve been a choice,

Allah will have an enormous punishment for that gang,

I wish I could just hear my father’s voice.

Time to time I read his letters,

Accepting the fact that he’s watching over me,

Believing this helps me feel much better, 

But I still need him as you can see.

Days go by and all I have is memories,

I should’ve used my time wisely,

Sick of missing you, can’t seem to find the remedies,

Sorry for my foolish ways, please don’t despise me.

My only thought is to have you here,

This is my last wish that I hope and pray,

You will forever be loved, sometimes expressed with tears,

Since you have disappeared, I have gone astray.